letting the words simply escape from my brain onto a page of some form

some written proof that they were thoughts composed in my head

it comes out in a mix of code, numbers, dramatacies and fun times!

so here's one:

Numbers

 

number one: tell them I love them

number 21: terror

undulate through the ages, through the emotions

and goals and maybe even the loves gained and lost

then twenty nine to equal 11 when I

made that first incision in my skin

O the confusion! eleven in its 1 past ten

my favorite number so my kids

believe me I’ve tried! I’ve

bent over backwards and forwards and then

twelve, 12, thirteen and so on

 

the anger pierces through me, forcing the organ in my

chest

to bleed onto that shirt that cost too much

10. 29. oh ate me like a tsunami of safety

swept me to an unfamiliar shore

that eye can’t find on a map

 

12, I’ll cling onto that eve of twelve

yes eleven. 11. how perfect you are and were and shall forever be.

 

One and one shall stand next to each other.

What strength and resonance we have in numbers!

and two:
Some nights I want to just scream at the stars
     Why can't you simply fix it?
     Why does it still hurt?
     Why does it resonate and echo off of the jagged corners of my heart
     and reverberate and crash into tiny pieces
     like shattered crystal, bedazzling the dance floor
     only to engrave itself onto my palms and reshape what once was once again
     to reform and rebuild a new stranger
          to replace this broken one
Why can't you simply fix it?